Victoria DiStefano, 68

Victoria DiStefano died unexpectedly and peacefully in her sleep at her home in Plymouth on Feb. 15. She was 68.

She was born on June 10, 1952 in Wilmington, De., to William and Inez DiStefano. She graduated from Wilmington High School in 1970 and went on to earn accreditations in art history, museum administration and historic preservation from the University of Delaware, Boston University and William and Mary. Her various roles in preservation planning in Cambridge and Martha’s Vineyard, as well as her work with the International Archives in Boston, highlighted her devotion to keeping a record of places believed to be historically significant and eye-catching. Additionally, she was passionate about European history, particularly Italy, where her father was born, and devoted time to help preserve some of its artistic past through her involvement with Save Venice.

Victoria’s love of all things natural and beautiful was her trademark. She was known for her impeccable fashion sense and a magical touch that could make even the smallest, most plain spaces resemble a whimsical jewel box after only a few hours. Without question, the beauty of Martha’s Vineyard was what welcomed Victoria to call the Island her true home. Living there for over 15 years, she made lifelong friendships which she cherished every day despite the time and distance between them. The Island understood her deep appreciation for its woods and beaches and provided her with the most unique treasures of sea glass, spectacular bird feathers and heart-shaped stones. For Victoria, a perfect day would be one spent with her daughter, son in law and grandchildren swimming at Lambert’s Cove beach, followed by a sun-kissed game of Scrabble, which she would always win, after dinner made of ingredients only found on the Island’s many farms.

Victoria was a woman of many impressive words who brought unforgettable light into the lives of those who got to know her truest self. She is survived by her daughter Lindsay Harlow (Hovanesian), her son in law H. Trevor Harlow; granddaughter Emerson Harlow and grandson Harold (Pierce) Harlow all of Hamilton; her beloved sister, Kathy Simpler of Wilmington, De.; and her adored niece and nephews, Chris Simpler of Bartlesville, Okla., Laura Simpler of Wilmington, De., and Greg Simpler and his wife Amy Simpler of Wilmington, De. She is predeceased by her father William Distefano, her mother Inez DiStefano and her brother Alan Sowden.

A celebration of her life will be held at a beach on Martha’s Vineyard as soon as everyone can gather safely.

Donations can be sent to the Sheriff’s Meadow Foundation.

Jane Chittick, Edgartown

Edgartown should know that Victoria was the expert who documented all the historic structures in downtown and drew the boundaries for our Historic District. In late 1986, we both wrote the Historic District's Bylaws that passed at out Town Meeting in 1987. Lindsay: I have a photo of your mother and me as the vote was being taken. If you contact the Gazette, they can give me your email. Also, Lindsay, know that I met Victoria through your Dad. We were friends from CT and then Cambridge and he's the one who invited me to visit the Vineyard (for the first time) in 1978. The words above used to describe Victoria are spot on. She made a lasting contribution to the town as well as to her friends. God bless.

February 19, 2021 - 8:45am

Lindsay Harlow

Thank you so much Jane!! My email is harlow.lindsay@gmail.com. I would love nothing more than to see that photo. Thank you for the kind words.

February 19, 2021 - 12:27pm

Wendy Frontiero, Gloucester, Mass.

Lindsay, I just happened to google your mother's name this morning and was sad to see her obituary. I knew your mother back in the early 1980s, when I worked at the Mass. Historical Commission and she was the preservation planner for Martha's Vineyard. We were good acquaintances but not close friends, unfortunately. I second the description of her "impeccable fashion sense." She was beautiful in an unusual, interesting way. She could also be a bit of klutz, like me, which made me feel good. Perfect coordination is not required to be elegant! While working at Mass. Historical, I finagled some kind of business trip to Martha's Vineyard and spent a magical weekend with your parents, who were not married then. Your mother and I bicycled into town one morning to play tennis and got a traffic ticket for going the wrong way down a one-way street. I think of that weekend fairly often, and tell the story of the traffic ticket whenever I have a chance. I hope your good memories are a comfort and a blessing to you. wendy frontiero

October 17, 2021 - 11:28am

Lindsay Harlow

Wendy- I read this tonight again after a couple years and it makes me smile and laugh. She was a beautiful klutz and elegant just like you I’m sure. Thank you for sharing.

January 25, 2024 - 9:22pm

Matthew Parij, Warren, Michigan, USA

I enjoyed seeing Victoria on an episode of Bob Vila's own Television Show titled "Bob Vila's Home Again" during the season where Bob and his Television and Contractor Teams had the project on Martha's Vineyard; and Bob had consulted with Victoria on the preservation of the Architecture on the Vineyard, and on the hybrid Cape Cod-Victorian architectural style of Bob's project on the Vineyard.

April 6, 2022 - 4:21pm

Lindsay harlow

Thank you for that nice memory Matthew!

February 14, 2023 - 10:14pm

Jocelyn Schaeffer , Beverly Massachusetts

I’m so sorry to hear of Vickie’s passing. I met her and both kids when my father David went into business with Archie on the island. We lived in Holly Bear Lane—-I believe that Holly Bear was one of the family’s beloved collies. Vickie was a gentle beautiful person.

March 16, 2024 - 9:44am

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