Holidays are a big deal for my large Irish Catholic family, and so I consider myself lucky to have married a man whose family celebrates Thanksgiving on Friday and doesn’t make a fuss out of Christmas. My easygoing guy is happy to spend the holidays eating under-salted, overcooked meals with thirty or so of my closest relatives, exchanging gifts and participating in a read aloud of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. (Lucky for my husband’s secular soul, we haven’t sung Happy Birthday to the baby Jesus since my grandmother died in 2005.) But as much as things stay the same, they’re bound to change. As my generation marries and we start families of our own, we’ll create new traditions and customs around the holidays.

The Larsen family, of Island fishing fame, gets together every year on the weekend after Thanksgiving to prepare the salted lamb flank that they’ll eat on Christmas Eve. “Salting food is a huge tradition in our family,” says Jeremy Scheffer, grandson of family patriarch Louis Larsen who died last year. “Usually it’s fish but for Christmas we do lamb.” Roughly ten to fifteen Larsens show up for the salting at the family homestead in Chilmark, and about double that are on hand to eat in December. Lamb Preparation Day is full of banter and friendly harassment. “We just make fun of each other,” Jeremy said. “And haze whoever the newest person is.” Once the lamb flank is cubed, seasoned and salted, it is stored in the attic for the monthlong stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

“Our immediate family consists of Jews, Buddhists, Episcopalians, Catholics, born again Christians, Baptists, and Muslims . . . It makes for a lively dinner conversation. ” Anthony Esposito

None of Jeremy’s relatives can remember a time when they didn’t get together to salt and subsequently eat lamb. The Larsen family brought the tradition from Norway generations ago. “I’ve never been able to sleep on Christmas Eve,” said Jeremy. “But is it because I’m excited for presents or from eating so much salt the night before?”

This year, just after the Larsen’s lamb feast, Jeremy will hop a plane bound for Puerto Rico with his girlfriend, whose family has a tradition of traveling together for the holidays in lieu of giving gifts. For the past few years, Jeremy has joined them. “It’s been a nice change of pace, and really fun to start new traditions together,” Jeremy said.

As many Island dwellers can attest, the holiday season is synonymous with travel. For Rebekah Thomson of West Tisbury, spending time with family is the priority, but with relatives scattered across the globe it’s a big trek for the family of five. The Thomson brood — Rebekah, husband Joshua and their three children ranging in age from one to seven – heads to Washington D.C. to spend Thanksgiving with Rebekah’s family, including her 99-year-old grandfather. Josh grew up in the Philippines and has a sister still there, so for Christmas the family chooses to meet in the middle — at the in-laws in Maui, where dinner is diverse, to put it mildly. “Our immediate family consists of Jews, Buddhists, Episcopalians, Catholics, born again Christians, Baptists, and Muslims,” said Rebekah. “It makes for a lively dinner conversation.”

Leading the Hanukkah prayers and occasionally hosting Thanksgiving dinner make Rebekah acutely aware of her role as a real grown up. But the Thomson family has also held on to many of the holiday traditions she was raised with in Washington D.C. “Hanukkah was always low key. Thanksgiving was always pretty traditional — scary jello ring and all,” she remembered.

Now, when it’s her turn to host, Rebekah makes an effort to incorporate more local and organic ingredients. One year, a few Hanukkahs past, while honoring a special request by her sick mother for the aforementioned jello ring, Rebekah was scrambling to find organic persimmon and kiwi. Eventually, a neighbor suggested that some traditions are better left untouched. “She said, ‘Rebekah, you’re cooking with jello and you’re concerned about organic fruit?’”

Jeremy Scheffer comes from a long line of Larsens, whose salty Christmas traditions endure. Anthony Esposito

Fallon Aiello is just establishing holiday traditions with her young family. Her partner, Carlos Montoya, is a chef and doesn’t have a lot of free time to enjoy a meal with friends. For the couple and their two young children, it’s the time together that is most important. Last year around Christmas the family was experiencing a rough time, with their 2 year-old son, Joaquin, in and out of the hospital. When they got home they were worn out and not thinking about holiday cheer, but Island friends had come together with gifts and food. “It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life,” said Fallon. “Carlos and I really realized that this is why we live here. These are the people we want to be surrounded by.”

In May, the Pew Research Center released the results of a large survey that found that 25 per cent of millennials (Americans born after 1980) consider themselves non-religious. So it makes sense that today’s young Island families are moving toward more secular-based holiday celebrations. But some young people, like Nili Morgan of Tisbury, are committed to keeping the faith in the holidays. Because her family eats Thanksgiving dinner late, Nili is able to make the rounds to visit husband Dylan Morgan’s relatives earlier in the day with their one-year-old son, Aaron. Hanukkah is spent at home and Christmas is spent with the Morgans. “My home is a Jewish home,” explained Nili, who grew up attending services at the Martha’s Vineyard Hebrew Center with her parents, Sherman and Susan Goldstein. “But Christmas is still available for our son through his dad’s family.” Incorporating different traditions based on different faiths has been relatively seamless for the Morgan family, due in large part to Nili’s commitment. “You have to wipe your slate clean,” she said. “Just because you did something one way growing up doesn’t mean that’s how it has to be now.”

As of this writing I’m nine months pregnant with a baby due any day. This year will bring a holiday season full of firsts. It will probably include a bit of traveling so that everyone gets some time with the newest family member. But really, the things I hope to pass along to my child are not so different from what I had growing up: big, loud, festive gatherings, though I wouldn’t complain if the food improved.

Editor’s Note: Erin Ryerson and her husband Hal welcomed baby girl Loretta Daniel Ryerson on Oct. 23. This story appears in The Vine, a publication of the Gazette.