Allright everyone, time to put down the golf clubs, set aside the tennis racquets, becalm the wind and kite surfing equipment, dock the surfboard and sheath the lion taming whip. The time has come for more manly pursuits, women may apply too, and children, if up to muster, are also invited.

And what you ask, gentle reader, could be so dangerous an activity and yet include such a wide swath of the vacationing public? Well, ping-pong of course.

Yes, it is time for the fourth annual All-Island Table Tennis Tournament held at the Chappaquiddick Community Center. The day to leave your own basement or garage court and pack up your trustiest paddle is Sunday, August 14. Competition begins at 11 a.m.

As is fitting in gladiatorial conquests of extreme nature such as this, there is no fee. Except, of course, the residue of sweat and pride left on the green table; nine feet by five feet, 30 inches high with an additional 15.25 cm net clearance of pure stadium glory.

For those who left their equipment back home, extra paddles will be provided, sans effete models with solid gold handles and emerald dust etching around the paddle perimeter; you know who you are, Simon James Alexander Ragsdale III.

Prizes will be awarded to match winners in a round robin format. For more information, call 508-627-7902.